


Natural Disaster

by centroid



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Violence, car crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-05 18:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5385098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centroid/pseuds/centroid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A melancholy laugh filled the space between each rain drop, weighing down the atmosphere with each flick of water on ground<br/>Phil’s own accord was not silenced by Dan’s call, nor the train of his own thoughts, but by the suddenly swallowing darkness of the world around him. Dan’s sudden screams were not heard, nor the hum of the machine. </p><p>Because it might just make him break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Break

**Author's Note:**

> so I've had this laying around for about 6 months and I'm really slow on it, don't expect fast updates, but i do have the next 4 chapters written already.
> 
> each chapter will be a different event in their lives, but in order.  
> i don't plan to make it very long, either. i mostly do oneshots.

_Another_ rainy afternoon, thunder rumbling in the distance.

A brown haired boy ran- as if for his life, his predators stalking him like a fresh meal.

Dan turned down an alley, hoping to throw off his pursuers sense of direction. He continued running, as fast as his legs could muster- but quietly, as much as his shoes would allow. His wet hair was persistent, blocking his vision in the worst times. He didn’t see the box in front of him, rolling onto the ground as if from a harsh push, but picked himself up again swiftly. His legs continuing to make their way through the small space- _any form of escape_ \- when his body collided with the brick, a broken cry slipping out at the impact. _He ran down a dead end_. Dan started feeling around the wall, trying to find any sign of hope. Alas, there was none. Giving up, he turned, the wall to his back, and let himself slide down its length.

A chuckle resonated through the small enclosure, hollow of any emotion. Dark figures appeared at the alley opening, three towering bodies blocking Dan’s only way out.

The tallest of the three figures- Phil, walked in front of the others, stepping into Dan’s hazy vision. “Giving up so soon, are we?” He smirked, making his way towards Dan. The black haired boy sighed, slumping his body to one hip, and sticking his fingers in his pockets at odd angles. “Sadly,” He started, almost sounding genuine, “This is where it begins, Howell. Marcus, Emma, do what you want.” He huffed.

“You know, it _almost_ sounds like you don’t like this, Phil.” Emma reasoned, making her way to Phil’s side. He stiffened. 

“Emma, we both know we have no problem with that, don’t complain.” Marcus fired, earning an eyeroll from Phil, and a scoff from Emma.

“The chase is the only fun part. Take it away.” The oldest boy scowled, turning his back and waving his hand to the event that was happening almost every day now.

Malicious laughing was ever present in both Dan and Phil’s ears, a pair of cowardly bullies making their way to Dan like a dance, taunting him with pain they would soon deliver.

Phil turned his head upwards, slicking his damp hair backwards out of his eyes. Staring at the clouds that could never give him answers, he wondered just _how_ he got like this.

Phil’s eyes squeezed shut when the first punch was heard, his brain sobbing in sync with the ones heard from Dan.

With each punch delivered to the brunette’s unwilling body, he scolded himself more. _Dead end, really? Of all the roads in Manchester, a fucking dead end? No wonder they think you’re-_

“Pathetic.” Marcus spat, kneeling down, gripping Dan’s shirt to lift him until he was standing. “You let us do this to you, it’s- you’re disgusting.” He retorted, punching the small boy under the ribs. Such force to a fragile structure, like a hippo in a china shop.

“Maybe he likes it, he probably gets off to it.” Emma chimed, bending Dan’s wrist against it’s own bone- almost making it crack. A sob escaped Dan, giving them the satisfaction.

“You obviously could fight back. You may be weak, but you’re not a fucking vegetable.” Sympathising, Marcus frowned, then quickly laughing in Dan’s face- humiliating him when he was already down. Right when a blow was impacting into Dan’s jaw, Phil cut them off.

“Enough. Leave.” He monotonously said, causing Emma and Marcus to immediately let go of Dan.

A couple of half-assed kicks later, the two were passing Phil, leaving the sight of their own crime. Phil and Dan stayed in place, head’s faced to the clouds, tears mixing with rain on both of their faces. He listened to Dan’s ragged breathing, slight whimpers of pain being picked up by the older’s ears.

Phil knew, he knew this was no way to act.

The first day he ever saw Dan, he was amazed, captured by the brunette’s beauty. At that point in time, they were both accepting of themselves, but since, the role of others has had too much of an impact for them to stay pure.

Phil never got to talk to the beautiful brunette, being swept away by the wrong crowd. He wasn’t like the people that followed him. He hated himself. For everything he did. The only words spoken to Dan were those of disgust, and the pain on Dan’s face was too much for the older to handle.

_Because it might just make him break._

“You… you always have them- do whatever they want. Why-” Dan coughed, choking on his own lungs current disability, “Why do you just stand there? Huh?” His voice escalated, from hatred to panic induced confusion, “Why don’t you punch me? Just-” he sobbed, “Do something!” Dan wailed, breaking not only the sound of pouring rain- even for a moment- to make room for his somber call, but also breaking Phil’s resolve.

A melancholy laugh filled the space between each rain drop, weighing down the atmosphere with each flick of water on ground, “This… I don’t-” He started, bringing his head back to level, eyes still closed. “I’m a facade, Dan. I’m dancing across a stage, but this isn’t my show,” he lulled, starting to walk to his exit. “I don’t belong in this. Neither do you.” He finally opened his eyes staring down the ground like this was all it's fault. 

“The fuck do you mean?” Dan whined, looking up to see Phil walking away, yet again. He wanted an answer, a conclusion to his torture, but he had a feeling no closure was to come of this yet.

Phil’s own accord was not silenced by Dan’s call, nor the train of his own thoughts, but by the suddenly swallowing darkness of the world around him.

By the hum of the machine.

Not even the calls for help by whom Phil admired most, were granted an answer.

_Because it might just make him break._


	2. Remember?

Two day’s later was Dan informed of Phil’s stabilization at the hospital. He couldn’t help but feel guilty- maybe in some way responsible- for what had happened.

_ Maybe if you didn’t yell at him, he’d have payed more attention.  _

With a shaking hand full of flowers, and a petrified body, Dan made his way to the hospital after school. He has had no more physical contact with anyone, only words have tainted his mind since Phil’s encounter with a car. A hit and run, and so far no one was convicted. 

The elevator door opened, showing Dan yet  _ another  _ white stained hallway, of floor 10. He took a deep breath, and made his way to room 19. Before knocking on the door, Dan prepared himself for what he might see. No warning was given to Dan, and he didn’t even know if Phil was  _ awake. _

_ He could be in a coma. He could have broken bones, I didn’t even see where all the blood was coming from. _

Deciding to suck it up and see, Dan nervously knocked on the door, gulping down his uncertainty. An acceptance to his implied request was heard, and the brunette opened the door.

Dan was met with a suddenly eager looking Phil, hands clasped in his lap, eyes watching Dan expectantly. “Um, hi-hey Phil. I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, and um” Dan gulped, trying hard not to stumble over his tongue, “I feel bad for what happened the other day, and I know it’s not much- but I got you… flowers.” Dan suddenly felt stupid, bringing flowers to his bully’s ring leader. He was in the hospital, not six feet under. 

His nervousness was evaporated when Phil smiled, a genuine notion- royally freaking out Dan. The older boy was eyeing the flowers, smiling at their beauty, so Dan held them out, and was even more surprised when Phil gratefully took them, smiling with his tongue poking out the side of his mouth.  _ Cute _ , Dan thought, and momentarily let his own smile reside on his face, but let it be replaced with one of confusion.

“Are you…” Dan hesitated, running his tongue over his bottom lip- then rushed in one quick second, “Are you ok?” He held his breath, half expecting Phil to tell him off, even if the black haired boy has ever done so much as lift a finger to his followers. 

“Yeah! I feel great! Why are you here anyway, and how do you know my name? Last time I saw you was on the… first day of school, right? You’re the cute boy!” Phil stated, excited that he got to see the boy he grew fond of with just one look. “What’s your name, by the way. Don’t think I got it.” Phil asked, a smile or curiosity playing on his lips.

“Dan.” The brunette answered,  letting the compliment evaporate into the air. “Since you woke up, have you seen a doctor?” Dan blushed, his own expression matching Phil’s. 

“No, just woke up, why?” Phil asked, head tilting to the side in utter cuteness. 

“I’m not too sure, Phil. This isn’t like you- the you I know- to act so happy, and not…” Dan tried to articulate, failing miserably- while pressing the button to summon the nurses and Doctor into Phil’s room.

 

~~~~~

 

“As it appears, Phil has lost his memory. We don’t know if it will come back, and in that time, he should have someone to guide him through the changes- since he last remembers to now.” The Doctor started, checking Phil’s papers for any abnormalities. “He seems to have a liking for you, would you show him around everything? You knew him before, didn’t you?” The Doctor looked up above his glasses, eyeing Dan for an answer.

“We… we kinda knew each other. It seems like his first impression of me was good, but things kinda got, um… rough after that.” Dan tried to explain. 

“Daniel, it looks like he want’s to be friends with you- if not more. If the initial start was good- and that’s all he remembers- then create a new friendship from that, if you want to.”

“I-I guess so…” Dan started to think, trailing off, making his way back into Phil’s room. 

The Doctor’s voice interrupted his step, making his head turn towards the professional. “It’s your choice if you want to tell Phil what happened. Well- tell him about the accident, and how he lost his memory,” He began, reasoning through his words, “But you don’t have to tell him about the relationship you had with him before. This Phil and the Phil two days ago are different, and I don’t think one of them was very happy. This can be fixed. It’s up to you.”

Dan took his time, slowing his pace to elongate the time he had to think.

The brunette opened the door, and was greeted by an enthusiastic Phil. The younger of the two was shaky on his knees, trying to organize his mind while navigating the newfound obstacles of the room.

The boy with obsidian hair took notice, and wanted to help Dan. “Hey, is something wrong? You seem out of it.” Phil looked up to Dan, a slight pout on his face and sincerity in his eyes. 

“Um- I… well- do you,” Dan started, trying to keep his act together and form his words. He looked down, wringing his hands together, and said in a much smaller, weaker voice, “Do y-you want to know what happened?” He stumbled, finally getting his words out. 

“Um, I guess, yeah.” Phil reasoned. He saw no harm in it, but the uncertainty in Dan’s voice made his heart ache, and his mind hesitant to know.

Dan cleared his throat, sitting down in the chair next to Phil. “Ok, so- you lost your memory… do you want to know how?” Dan only realized he was keeping his eyes locked on his hands, until he looked up, looking into eyes he’s never really  _ seen _ before. Shots of Yellow- almost gold cascaded around the blue. Even green was evident, dancing around the yellow, sinking beneath the other colors. It looked like imprints, the lower caves of Phil’s iris’s decorated with green, the inner ring around his pupil shining with the yellow, the rest painted blue. Dan’s mind was on repeat, trying to concentrate on just how mesmerizing one person can be. So  _ captivating _ . It was extraordinary, to be honest. Sure- a lot of people have eyes like that, but something about Phil’s seemed to glow, jump out at Dan, calling him in.

_ I wonder if that happens to everyone he looks at? _

Dan was broken out of his thoughts, Phil’s nod luring him back to the current time. “Um, so we were actually in the same place at the time, and you- you got hit by a car, Phil.” Dan’s tongue a skate on thin ice. The words glided off his tongue, the weight of his words having the ability to plunge him into the dark abyss of uncharted waters. 

Phil stared at Dan, mouth agape in shocked confusion. “What was I doing there?” He gushed.

“It was in an alley…” Dan started. He half wanted Phil to remember so he didn’t have to tell it, and half wanted to keep this information from Phil, make a new friendship with him. A real connection. “You… were, um- well we were there under weird circumstances, and- well. Well you said something that sounded as if you weren't yourself." Dan couldn't bring himself to say much more, and he'd be damned if Phil wanted to know everything. 

"That's all I need to know. It sounds like you don't really want to remember it," Phil started somberly, "And if you don't want to re-live it, I don't think I'd want to either." He smiled at Dan, the brunette unable to hold back a sad smile. 

"The Doctor says you might remember, but it's plausible you won't. And thank you, Phil" Dan spoke softly, not wanting to rip the moment apart- a precious flower petal to the mind. Beautiful, but fragile. 

"I hope I don't remember it." Phil thought out loud, staring out his window. His face was contorted, showing slight signs of disgust- for no one but himself. "It sounds like I wasn't myself, and I know for a fact I am right now. I'm sorry for whatever pain I caused you." The genuine tone was enough for Dan to start tearing up. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I like you, Dan. Whatever may come of this, I just- I really don't want to hurt you." The older boy looked up from the sterile-white sheets on his bed, to find his younger counterpart crying. Immediate panic struck through his veins. The hand covering Dan's mouth was trembling, and with further observation, so was the rest of him. His eyes were held tightly closed, as if the secrets to Phil's endeavors her engraved in them. 

They were not to be set free- Phil hoped. 

The situation was not in the older's cards, and he hoped on every chance he got that a good hand would be played. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know if you guys actually like this, because i don't really know how much i wanna continue


End file.
